Moog & Friends ~ Caring
Caring For Your Loved One
If your loved one feels well enough, and for as long as time allows, you can support and communicate with them in many different ways.
- Encourage them to talk about their life. Family photos often bring back good times and stimulate memory.
- Touching is one of the most comforting means of communication – holding hands, giving a foot rub, smoothing hair, a loving embrace.
- Loving gestures are very comforting – helping with meals, offering a drink, a cloth on the forehead.
- Shared companionship fills lonely or frightening hours – listening to music, reading the newspaper, playing cards, watching television.
- Offer to write a letter for your loved one.
- Accept, acknowledge and be sensitive to the changing feelings expressed by your loved one.
- Offer choices whenever possible to give your loved one a sense of control.
- Ask open ended questions – “Can you tell me what’s happening for you right now? “What would you like to do today?”
- Really listen – sometimes people talk about their dying in symbolic ways (i.e. going on a trip, meeting with family who have already died). Encourage your loved one to explore these ideas and feelings.
- Remember to smile. Laughter is wonderful medicine – continue to bring humor to the situation whenever possible.
- Be comfortable with silence. Love, caring and understanding often need no words. Silence can be as supportive as talking.
- Allow your loved one to doze off and rest – just sit with them as they sleep.
Sometimes it may appear that your loved one does not know you are there. They may be too ill and may not have the energy to reach out, but you can still communicate with them.
- Simply be there … be present. Your loved one is often aware of your presence even though they appear not to be.
- Touching is still important. It may be comforting to lay your hand on them.
- Hearing is the last sense to go. Don’t be afraid to talk to your loved one.
 Caring for Yourself
In being supportive of your loved one, it is very important that you take care of your own emotional, physical and spiritual needs.
- You may feel as though you are on an emotional roller coaster – up one day and down the next. Be assured, this is normal during anticipatory grief and stress.
- Take it one day at a time.
- Develop a strong, supportive network.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings as they come. There is no right or wrong way of feeling at this time.
- Crying is a safety valve during times of stress. Let your tears flow – it’s a good way of coping.
- Treasure the moments of light-heartedness and laughter. The ability to laugh is a great tension reliever. Do not feel guilty about this.
- Talk to someone you trust, whether friend or professional, about your thoughts and feelings.
- For your own peace of mind, try to be as informed as possible about your loved one’s illness and care.
- Recognize your own needs and limitations. Set limits and don’t be afraid to say “no”.
- Take time each day to do something restful just for you – a walk, a soothing bath, massage, beautiful music.
- It’s OK to take a break from care giving and grieving when possible.
- Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Is it tired, stressed, and tense?
- Do the common sense things such as eating right, exercising, getting fresh air and rest.
- Nurture your spiritual side. Pursue those things that are uplifting to you – prayer, meditation.
- Hold on to hope. It may support and comfort you. Notice how the nature of hope may change over time from hope for a cure to hope for a peaceful death.
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